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The church: Carlisle Cathedral, Cumbria, England.
Denomination: Church of England.
The building: Built of red sandstone, the cathedral is 900 years old and is one of England's smaller cathedrals. It has a beautiful painted barrel ceiling, 15th century misericords, and some impressive stained glass. There is a good display of precious things in the treasury.
The church: We saw a number of men wearing ribbons with a cathedral badge (black cross on white background) but were mystified at first as to their role.
The neighbourhood: Just over the road is Carlisle Castle, now in the hands of English Heritage and well worth a visit. Mary Queen of Scots was imprisoned there for a while and may also have witnessed the first England vs Scotland football match. Sorry, but I don't know who won.
The cast: Rev. Canon David Weston celebrated and preached. He was assisted by a deacon, and assisting with the chalices were two lay persons, one male, one female.
10.30am Sung Eucharist.
How full was the building?
About a third full, approximately 125 people.
Did anyone welcome you personally?
No fewer than four of the beribboned gentlemen wished us good morning as we went in; the sidesmen also bade us a good morning as they gave us books. However, no one offered to seat us, and so we were left floundering toward a sea of chairs with no real idea where to put ourselves.
Was your pew comfortable?
The chairs were comfortable enough, but rather too close to each other to allow for kneeling, which the service book required us to do on several occasions.
How would you describe the pre-service atmosphere?
The bells were ringing as we arrived and there was a quiet hum of conversation. This increased considerably in volume when the organist started to play, which made quiet prayer rather difficult. Still, we did our best.
What were the exact opening words of the service?
We launched straight into the first hymn with no announcements, and went straight from that into the service: "In the name of the Father..."
What books did the congregation use during the service?
The cathedral has its own service booklet, taken from Common Worship, but with some interesting omissions. We were using the New English Hymnal and were also given two pieces of paper, one with the readings and the notices and the second with an advertisement for Carlisle Great Fair.
What musical instruments were played?
Organ, played by a visiting organist; but the piece he performed as a final voluntary was too much for the building, although he played it well.
Did anything distract you?
The choirmaster had unusually long fingers. There was a rather large number of late arrivals. As the cathedral clock chimed the hour, people's watches bleeped right along with it.
Was the worship stiff-upper-lip, happy clappy, or what?
Solemnly formal. Typical cathedral worship, where the choir do all the singing and the audience (sorry, congregation) could go to sleep – if the chairs were a little softer!
Exactly how long was the sermon?
10 minutes exactly, finishing on the dot of 11am with the bleeps and chimes.
On a scale of 1-10, how good was the preacher?
6 – A very academic sermon. Suited cathedral worship, but a number of people appeared to miss the premise completely.
In a nutshell, what was the sermon about?
As it was St James's Day, the sermon started with St James, but quickly digressed into repentance and forgiveness, covering injustice and road rage on the way. It finished with a discussion on baptism, and whether it was right to baptise on request anything that moved, or whether baptism should be more exclusive – not to make any judgments, mind you.
Which part of the service was like being in heaven?
The quiet reverential way the people were marshalled up to the altar rail by the beribboned gentlemen.
And which part was like being in... er... the other place?
From my point of view, the exclusiveness of cathedral sung worship, with little opportunity for congregational participation.
What happened when you hung around after the service looking lost?
No one spoke. We even split up and hung about separately. They seemed to be a friendly bunch to each other, with lots of conversations going on around us. The celebrant was standing about talking intently with a range of people, and I didn't think I should interrupt.
How would you describe the after-service coffee?
It was just as well that we read the newsletter, as the last item was an invitation to the Prior's Kitchen for coffee – but everyone was seated in family groups at small tables. We drank some weak instant coffee from plastic cups, but there were also chocolate biscuits to be had. At length we were approached by a lady who was selling a quiz (£1) in aid of the visiting choir.
How would you feel about making this church your regular (where 10 = ecstatic, 0 = terminal)?
2 – I couldn't cope with that every week!
Did the service make you feel glad to be a Christian?
Not particularly.
What one thing will you remember about all this in seven days' time?
The quiz, which looked easy to start with and then got interesting! We're still working on it.
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