Our top seven gifts for the downturn Banks failing. Economies recessing. And now Lent. How much more can we take? Discover some less-than-comforting godly gear to help spread the gloom. See all seven gifts     212: Ian Paisley's sermons Bread and wine. Organ and fund. Dabbling and occult. Words surely made for each other before the foundation of the world. So, when Gloomfest arrived, what words first sprang to mind? Reverend Ian Paisley. This collection of the famous preacher's Pope-bashing sermons will provide the spiritual bollocking that a flaky, flabby excuse for an unregenerate being like you deserves. Let RIP grill you evenly on a rotisserie turning slowly over the hot coals of Hell – cooled only by his own rasping spit. Only £19.99 from here. Teeth for gnashing are an optional extra. Next: Talking, light-up rosary     Click: Talking, light-up rosary Spotted a Gadget worthy of these pages? Let us know about it!