The story so far... You're currently on our features and projects pages, with material ranging from the satirical to the theological. For more features, click here.     Sacked Sky Sports man to join the Ordinariate Andy Gray, the Sky Sports commentator who has been sacked for making sexist remarks about a female assistant referee, is to be received into the Ordinariate, a Vatican spokesman has announced. "Mr Gray has demonstrated all the traditional qualities we are looking for, and we are fast-tracking him through the ordination process," commented Msgr Machiavelli. "He could be a priest in a week," he added. Mr Gray got into hot water when he bantered with a colleague off-air about how women linesmen didn't understand the offside rule. "We feel that Andy Gray has hit the theological nail on the head," said Father Sexist-Pigg, one of the former Anglicans who has joined the Roman fold. "If Our Lord Jesus Christ had wanted us to have women linesmen, he'd have given them the balls to do the job when he was running Nazareth FC." Asked by our female reporter if he cared to expand on the theme, Father responded, "Do me a favour, love." Cardinal Murdoch was unavailable for comment.