Ship of Fools Awards


1. Spiritual Leader Least Likely to be Mistaken for Christ

Winner: Rev Fred Phelps

This was a close-run contest, and it's a shame to disappoint the Irish media whose ears pricked up when Ian Paisley seemed likely to seize the laurels.

There's no doubting the justice of this verdict though. Phelps, a Baptist minister from Westboro, Kansas, devotes his life to attacking homosexuals. He has picketted the funerals of gays, like Matthew Shepard's in October last year, and visitors to his God Hates Fags website can treat their better natures to animated pictures and recordings of Matthew in Hell.

The number of websites set up in response – 'God loves fags', 'I hate Phelps', and even 'Phelps is a fag' – suggest that imitation is not always the sincerest form of flattery.

Fred Phelps took 31% of the vote.


Runners-up

Our three runners-up, in descending order, are...

From left to right:

  • Rev Dr Ian Paisley – with 28%, for his lifetime achievement of firmly steering his people away from peace in Northern Ireland over the past 30 years and for his fixation on the 'Whore of Babylon' (a post currently occupied by John Paul II).

  • Bishop Jack Spong of Newark, USA – with 24%, for political incorrectness towards African bishops at last year's Lambeth Conference, and for being a self-confessed 'atheist who does the job of a bishop very well'.

  • Rev Dr Jerry Falwell – with 17%, for his strident attacks on liberals, secular humanists, Muslims, homosexuals, President Clinton ('an ungodly liar'), the singer Madonna ('a despicable, highly paid prostitute') and, of course, Tinky Winky.


Next Award | Awards Index | Archive | Ship of Fools Central

© Ship of Fools 1999