Talking Tombstone

The ultimate stocking chiller! This State-side (oh, really?) invention
features a standard stone memorial with the bizarre addition of a built-in
speaker. A recorded announcement is triggered by invisible beam, so that
every time a visitor comes near the grave a metallic voice declares
from the headstone:

'Hi! I was Jane Smith. I died at
10.15am, Thursday, November 25th 1994.
Thanks for coming to see me.
Have a nice day.'

Shown above is the version with added video, which displays
pages of text, photographs, family trees and all the other things you'd
just love to browse through while sitting on your loved-one's grave.
The price for this tasteful granite-and-bronze memorial?
Just $4995.00 (batteries included).

© Ship of Fools 1998